When most people think about consistency, they picture doing something all the time.
No missed days. No breaks. No falling off.

But that’s not actually what consistency is.

Psychologist Angela Duckworth, who studies grit and long-term goals, talks about consistency in a way that feels much more human. It’s not about doing something perfectly 100% of the time. It’s about showing up more often than not, allowing yourself to miss a day or even a week, and still returning.

There’s a saying I love that captures this idea:
“If all you have is 40%, and you give 40%, then you gave 100%.”

In simpler terms, consistency means you don’t quit on yourself when life happens. And it isn’t about intensity. It’s about sticking with something over time and building the conditions that make that possible by honoring your capacity.

Let’s Talk About Capacity

In my coaching, I place a strong emphasis on capacity.

Before we even talk about specific wellness goals, we look at your capacity first.

Capacity is your current ability to show up based on your real life, not your ideal one. It includes your energy, time, health, mental load, and everything else you’re juggling.

Things like working full time, parenting or caregiving, chronic illness or unpredictable health, burnout, stress, and even old beliefs about “not being disciplined enough” can affect your capacity and  how consistent you can realistically be.

When capacity isn’t considered, people often think they failed, when in reality the plan just didn’t fit their life.

Why I Love Small Experiments for Consistency

Another key part of my coaching is encouraging small experiments instead of all or nothing commitments.

So many people go big right away. They decide what should work, push hard, and when it doesn’t stick, they blame themselves.

Instead, we test.

You try something small.
You notice what worked and what didn’t.
You adjust instead of judging yourself.

This reflection piece is huge. It’s how you learn what actually helps you stay consistent, rather than forcing yourself into someone else’s version of wellness.

Consistency That Actually Lasts

Sustainable consistency doesn’t come from going big. It comes from going long.

It comes from doing what fits within your capacity and remembering that your capacity can change over time.

Some days you have more.
Some days you have less.

Consistency isn’t rigid. It’s adaptable and flexible. And when you work with your life instead of against it, staying consistent with your personal wellness goals becomes a lot more doable and a lot less exhausting.