How?

By being more confident and staying humble.

Being more confident and staying humble might seem like a contradiction, but it does not have to be.

When I read Dolly Parton’s book Dream More: Celebrate the Dreamer in You and one line really stuck with me.

“There is a very thin line between arrogance and confidence. I think the difference between the two is humility.”

That made me pause. Because it’s true. The balance is delicate, especially now when so much of our lives is shared online. It is easy to come off as arrogant if we aren’t grounded. But the truth is, many of us land on the other side. We downplay ourselves. We stay quiet. We avoid talking about our accomplishments, even when we have worked hard for them.

Like many women, especially in my culture, I was raised to believe that being humble is a virtue. But being too humble can hold us back. It can mean missing out on promotions, higher pay, leadership opportunities, and even the ability to help others in bigger ways.

I learned this the hard way early in my career during an important job interview. I completely undersold myself. I did not share my full experience or speak with confidence. I did not own my impact.

Thankfully, one of the interviewers had worked with me when I was a student. She knew how committed I was, how passionate I am about helping people, and she witnessed the impact I had on patients. After the interview, she called me and gave me some feedback I really needed to hear. She asked me something simple.

“What would a friend say about you and your accomplishments?”

That shifted everything. When I started imagining what a friend would say, it felt more natural. It felt more true. It also made me realize how often I minimize my own story. We can be so hard on ourselves. I am still learning to be a better friend to myself. The more compassion I give myself, the more I have to give to others.

That is why what Dolly said about positive energy also resonated with me. She believes that people are drawn and healed by it. I had never really thought about confidence that way before, but it makes sense. Just being confident in who you are can be healing to someone else. When I think about how I feel around people who are grounded and confident, it makes me feel that way too. It makes me feel like I can show up more fully as myself.

Being around big dreamers makes me want to dream bigger.

Dolly also reminds us that we can dream big while appreciating the little things. It is not about choosing between ambition and gratitude. You can want more for your life while still being present with what you already have. We need more of that kind of energy. More people who lead with heart and authenticity. More confidence that lifts others instead of competing. But in order to embody that kind of confidence, we have to look at what has been blocking it. Sometimes it is something someone said to us. Or something they did not say, but implied. Maybe no one else in your family ever went to college, so you questioned whether you could. Maybe someone told you that you were too young. Or too old. Maybe someone said your dream is too big or unrealistic. That kind of messaging stays with us unless we consciously decide to shift it. Sometimes that takes time. Sometimes it takes reflection. Sometimes it helps to talk with someone who can help you see yourself more clearly.

More lessons from Dolly on how to dream big

Have a dream and believe in it

Your dream does not have to make sense to everyone. It’s your dream.

Let faith guide you

Not just religious faith, but the kind that keeps you anchored during hard seasons.

Do good with what you have

Dreaming big does not have to be self-centered. It can also be about impact. Use your voice, your story, and your lived experience to uplift others. Your dream is not too big, especially if it helps someone else.

Live with purpose

Dolly says, “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” Living with purpose starts with self-discovery and awareness. It means embracing who you truly are, understanding your values, and choosing to act in ways that reflect what matters most to you.

When I say dream big, I know that looks different for everyone. One of my first big dreams was to become a nurse. When I accomplished that, it was time to dream a little more. A little differently. A little louder.

So here is what I hope for you

I hope you allow yourself to be fully seen
I hope you speak about your brilliance with confidence and love
I hope you believe that your brilliance can be a gift to others
And I hope you give yourself permission to dream big in your own way

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear what your big dream looks like. Share it with me or join the Playscriptive email list for more reflections like this.